Now, recently a friend of mine was in London and didn’t know which tube ticket to buy or whatever it is that you use to travel on the buses and tubes in London. If you’re from the UK, you can just use your contactless credit card, about which more later, but if you’re from abroad and you’ve just arrived and you don’t know where you live, what your name is, where you’re going, and you probably don’t want to pile all those foreign bank fees on your transactions, so it’s probably easier to get an Oyster card.
Now, don’t be that person who hangs around for ages and gets in everybody’s way. First thing you want to do is come over here and hit get new card. You can decide here how many cards you want, but there’s only one of me so I want one new Oyster card. Hit confirm.
You don’t have to decide how much money you want to put onto your Oyster card.
It’s pay as you go, so it depends on how many journeys you do per day, and then you’ll cap it as a day travel card.
Now, a lot of people panic when they first arrive in London at Heathrow for example, and they say, “Look, do I buy a weekly pass or do I buy a pay as you go top up pass?”
Now, I think the best thing to do is when you arrive, just stick £15 credit onto an Oyster card and then that buys you some time to decide what kind of journeys you’re going to be making after.
So, it’s only £15. The Oyster card is a £5 deposit, which you pay, and then your pay as you go credit which you’re going to have is £15. So, altogether will be £20.
Now, don’t worry. You’ll get your deposit back when you return your card, plus any unused credit, as long as it’s under £10.
And voila, my nice fresh Oyster card ready for use.
Now, the left side of the escalator is for people who’re much busier than you. So, as far as Londoners are concerned, if you’re standing on the wrong side, you basically have no human rights and you will be plowed out of the way by people like me.
Excuse me, can you get out of the way, please? You’re on the wrong side of the escalator. So, did you honestly not notice that everyone was-?
All right. It’s pretty obvious that I didn’t see the signs. Sorry.
On no account must you speak to anybody. Make sure that you keep your headphones in.
Your next station is Angel.
You’re not allowed to speak to me.
We’re in London.
You’re not a Londoner?
No. So, that’s why we’re talking to you. We’re from the North.
All right. I keep meeting Northerners. What’s going on? They actually speak to you on the tube. You really are amateur? You haven’t even got your headphones in.
No, we don’t pay for [crosstalk 00:02:25].
No, no [crosstalk 00:02:26]-
We guess train order?
Amateur. Excuse me, I’m going to stare at my phone now.
Don’t worry. Carry on.
So, if you’re in a real hurry, you can just swipe your credit card or your debit card as long as it’s got this contactless symbol on it. Now, that will work in exactly the same way as the pay as you go credit on an Oyster card, but you don’t have to top this up on the machine or anything. You just take it and you just scan it straight onto the machine. Don’t be one of those people who gets in the way and stands in front of the ticket gate. Sorry.
Remember, you can’t use cash on the bus, so you’ve got to use your card.
Now, the thing about the Oyster is that you can use it again, and again, and again. If you use is say, 50 times in one day, it won’t go above a certain amount, so you can just using it all day long. They call it a capping. I think it’s about six or seven quid or something.
I particularly like the number 15 bus, because you can get one of these old Routemasters, and they’re really good. They follow a route all the way from Trafalgar Square past the Royal Courts of Justice, the Monument, Sweeney Todd’s Barber Shop, and then it finishes up by the Tower of London. There is so much more space on these as well. I just feel so much more comfortable and you can even open the window here. Look at that.
I hate those horrible new ones. These seats over here in the corner is what my friend used to call it the molester’s seat. Weirdos and pervs used to sit in this one. I rather like it. You can sit at the back of the bus and just sort of observe everybody who gets on from over here.
It’s the last stop please.
The last stop.
Thank you. You can even use it on the boats, but it does cost a little bit more.
You really have to remember to swipe out. It’s very important, otherwise you get charged extra.
And sometimes the gates are already open, and a lot of people think, “I know, I won’t get charged if I just walk straight through.” But that’s not the case. You’ll get charged £8.
Some stations don’t even have ticket gates.
So, make absolutely sure that you do swipe in and out properly, otherwise you can get absolutely skimmed on the fare. Be careful.
You can even use it on the Emirates Airline. Excellent. They cost £3.40 for adults, and £1.70 for a child if you have an Oyster card.
In many ways, there’s no need to pay for one of those expensive guided tour buses. With so many Joolz Guides online, you can just access them on your phone, and with an Oyster card you can get around London for a reasonable price. So, if you enjoy my films, do please subscribe to the channel, and [French 00:05:04].